Welcome to matthew Z's blog about nothing!

Pull up a chair and sit awhile. Someone will be right with you.
My goal here is to offer better. Better what you ask? Anything. Advice, health, wealth, happiness, gadgets (I love gadgets!), anything. Physical, emotional, whatever. But please remember the views and opinions expressed on thematthewZproject are mine. However hypocritical, extremely biased, usually politically incorrect or funny, they are mine and are in now way meant to influence or offend. Thanks for visiting!matthew Z

it’s NOT elmo dad…

February 26th, 2010

will the real elmo please stand up

will the real elmo please stand up

STAGED! Kevin Smith’s fatgate

February 15th, 2010
fatgate 2010

fatgate 2010

I’ll admit, when I first heard this story I was sucked in and like, “WTF?”.  But then I thought.  Staged. At first glance, there wouldn’t seem to be a lot of obvious upsides to Kevin Smith’s getting ejected from a Southwest Airlines flight for being too overweight. Even if the director ranks very high among Twitter’s hottest topics currently, significantly increasing the number of media mentions for his new action-comedy, “Cop Out,” which hits theaters on Feb. 26.

However, while the incident — and Smith’s ensuing Tweetathon about the ordeal, dubbed “Fatgate” —  continues to generate headlines worldwide, it isn’t the first time the “Mallrats” and “Clerks” writer-director has suffered a shameful, weight-related embarrassment just days before theatrically releasing a new movie.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Remember that in 2008, just before the roll-out of his poor-performing, sorry attempt of a romantic comedy “Zach and Miri Make a Porno,” Smith suffered a similar disgrace: He admitted that his self-described “morbid obesity” had been responsible for the destruction of a household appliance.  And then, as now, he milked that episode for all it was worth on his blog, in tweets, and in interviews.

He told The Times, “I broke a toilet.  That’s how heavy I am. I can’t take all the credit. That was an old toilet and a very water-logged wall. But still, there’s no excuses, dude. I cannot cognitively reframe it and be like, ‘It wasn’t me. It was the toilet.’ It was definitely me! And that’s a wake-up call.”

Asked why he would volunteer such a potentially embarrassing story about himself, Smith demurred. “It’s a good story,” he said. “It’s tough not to tell even though I’m the fat clown at the center of it. Putting it out there is saying, ‘I get it. I understand.’ ” To me this is a sad way to gain publicity.  If you have to do this much to get attention to a movie, is it really worth seeing it?

Personally Read more…

hey big oil…FAH-Q!

January 6th, 2010

I can’t wait until the world leaves petroleum behind to embrace clean, renewable energy and the oil companies that have had all the record breaking profits can’t give oil away.  I hope oil company execs rot in hell.  I’m going green!  If only I could find a way to market water to the world the way big oil companies have.  matthew Z

happy 2010!

January 5th, 2010

What do you want to read about or see on this blog in 2010?  Tell me your thoughts.  matthew Z

in real life – angus burger

November 10th, 2009

I’ve decided after a long absence to try something new.  Each week I’m going to comment about something that is depicted in print, video, or commercial to be absolutely amazing, but in real life couldn’t be farther from the truth.  From fast food advertisements to models wearing jeans.  Nothing will be safe.

I’ll start this week’s new idea off with fast food.  As I was driving to work this morning I saw a billboard for a ‘trophy burger’.  It actually looked tasty.  But since I’ve given up on most fast food due to artistic differences, that being the food never looks like it is advertised and is usually more horrible than eating cardboard with salt, pepper, and ketchup, this one actually made me a bit curious.  Now all the while I’m thinking to myself, I can bet this isn’t going to live up to the presentation I want and the flavor I deserve as a paying  customer.

In print

in print

This delightful burger starts with a third pound of  100% pure Angus beef, sure. Add some slices of cheese that actually looks like real cheese, slightly melted.  Placed between braided sesame seed buns that look like a baker just popped them out of the oven. The sesame seeds look like the hand of God placed them.  Topped with ‘fresh’ tomato, ‘real’ whole leaf lettuce, ‘crisp’ red onions and ‘crinkle-cut’ pickles. The picture leads you to believe all you have to do is sit down, roll up your sleeves, and get down to business.  And this is what I ordered…looks good doesn’t it?  My taste buds actually started to party. All that’s left is to get it and compare.

in real life

in real life

Well it isn’t the advertised piece but it isn’t too far off the mark. BUT what does it taste like? Will it be similar to the unfortunate sad, generic excuse of a burger the chain has sold for years or will it taste like a real burger? Laying my innards on the line for science I subjected myself for the good of the reader.  Although it is a step up from the economy class burger, it is hardly what I would call a premium burger.  The bun was less airy then the regular hamburger bun, but not great.  The pickles were mushy, the onions were anything but crisp.  The cheese was the usual over processed pasteurized cheese. The meat, although more ‘beefy’, was dry and similar to the highly compacted little brother burger as far as texture.  Taste?  It was a nice try, but sadly, it is far off the mark.  It left my taste buds feeling like they just encountered a chemical burn.  Salt and pepper, sure.  But this is what they put into this disaster of a burger. Read more…