the matthew Z project

bubbler shot glass with scarf

Bubbler Tuesday.  Ah, say it with me.  Bubbler. Tuesday.  What, you say, is Bubbler Tuesday?  Bubbler Tuesday is a Tuesday; nonethesame as any other Tuesday save for it has a flared kick-ass ending to it.  Most start as any other day really.  You wake up, yawn, and then realize today is BUBBLER TUESDAY!  Then back to reality, you still have the long day ahead of you before you can even attempt to start the festivites.  Now, to some, this may thwart any possibility that the day could be good because you have to wait until after work hours to enjoy the celebration that will unleash. To others, like myself, it’s the fuel that drives me to make Tuesday great.  The illusion that nothing today will eff with me.  A reason to look at the grandieur of what tomorrow will lack in comparison to tonight. For today, will be another Bubbler Tuesday! But WHAT is it?  Simply put, it’s a celebration of me.  Not ME as in me, but to whomever is celebrating.  That ‘me’. 

It’s a get together of friends, co-workers, children, and families alike.  We congregate as if going on a shopping trip to a candy store.  The enthusiasm mounts all day until it’s time to go!  Count downs have even been witnessed. You show up at the location, which changes weekly.  Sometimes there is pizza to eat, sometimes a potluck. Other times, perhaps only snacks.  It just depends.  Greetings ensue.  Handshakes flurry, hugs give way to the break off into segmented clicks of happiness.  The women tend to assist the children on the paths of righteous clothes shedding at speeds that would challenge any racer of any kind, as they make ready the choas that will begin.  They make sure the places are ready for the blitz of traffic that will become about as normal as ordering off the dollar menu at your favorite fast food joint.  The kids, after their warmups, are set to play.  They begin a migration to happytown.  They move about the party almost unknown to most partygoers.  Except the occassional scream of ‘That’s mine!’, or just the high pitched yalp of kids in utter excitement, to have so many other kids to play with, they too enjoy this day as much as the adults.  This gives way to sounds that mimic what you would hear at a circus, or carnival. Mostly pleasant.  The men.  Well the men Read more…

fatgate 2010

I’ll admit, when I first heard this story I was sucked in and like, “WTF?”.  But then I thought.  Staged. At first glance, there wouldn’t seem to be a lot of obvious upsides to Kevin Smith’s getting ejected from a Southwest Airlines flight for being too overweight. Even if the director ranks very high among Twitter’s hottest topics currently, significantly increasing the number of media mentions for his new action-comedy, “Cop Out,” which hits theaters on Feb. 26.

However, while the incident — and Smith’s ensuing Tweetathon about the ordeal, dubbed “Fatgate” —  continues to generate headlines worldwide, it isn’t the first time the “Mallrats” and “Clerks” writer-director has suffered a shameful, weight-related embarrassment just days before theatrically releasing a new movie.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Remember that in 2008, just before the roll-out of his poor-performing, sorry attempt of a romantic comedy “Zach and Miri Make a Porno,” Smith suffered a similar disgrace: He admitted that his self-described “morbid obesity” had been responsible for the destruction of a household appliance.  And then, as now, he milked that episode for all it was worth on his blog, in tweets, and in interviews.

He told The Times, “I broke a toilet.  That’s how heavy I am. I can’t take all the credit. That was an old toilet and a very water-logged wall. But still, there’s no excuses, dude. I cannot cognitively reframe it and be like, ‘It wasn’t me. It was the toilet.’ It was definitely me! And that’s a wake-up call.”

Asked why he would volunteer such a potentially embarrassing story about himself, Smith demurred. “It’s a good story,” he said. “It’s tough not to tell even though I’m the fat clown at the center of it. Putting it out there is saying, ‘I get it. I understand.’ ” To me this is a sad way to gain publicity.  If you have to do this much to get attention to a movie, is it really worth seeing it?

Personally Read more…

I’ve decided after a long absence to try something new.  Each week I’m going to comment about something that is depicted in print, video, or commercial to be absolutely amazing, but in real life couldn’t be farther from the truth.  From fast food advertisements to models wearing jeans.  Nothing will be safe.

I’ll start this week’s new idea off with fast food.  As I was driving to work this morning I saw a billboard for a ‘trophy burger’.  It actually looked tasty.  But since I’ve given up on most fast food due to artistic differences, that being the food never looks like it is advertised and is usually more horrible than eating cardboard with salt, pepper, and ketchup, this one actually made me a bit curious.  Now all the while I’m thinking to myself, I can bet this isn’t going to live up to the presentation I want and the flavor I deserve as a paying  customer.

in print

This delightful burger starts with a third pound of  100% pure Angus beef, sure. Add some slices of cheese that actually looks like real cheese, slightly melted.  Placed between braided sesame seed buns that look like a baker just popped them out of the oven. The sesame seeds look like the hand of God placed them.  Topped with ‘fresh’ tomato, ‘real’ whole leaf lettuce, ‘crisp’ red onions and ‘crinkle-cut’ pickles. The picture leads you to believe all you have to do is sit down, roll up your sleeves, and get down to business.  And this is what I ordered…looks good doesn’t it?  My taste buds actually started to party. All that’s left is to get it and compare.

in real life

Well it isn’t the advertised piece but it isn’t too far off the mark. BUT what does it taste like? Will it be similar to the unfortunate sad, generic excuse of a burger the chain has sold for years or will it taste like a real burger? Laying my innards on the line for science I subjected myself for the good of the reader.  Although it is a step up from the economy class burger, it is hardly what I would call a premium burger.  The bun was less airy then the regular hamburger bun, but not great.  The pickles were mushy, the onions were anything but crisp.  The cheese was the usual over processed pasteurized cheese. The meat, although more ‘beefy’, was dry and similar to the highly compacted little brother burger as far as texture.  Taste?  It was a nice try, but sadly, it is far off the mark.  It left my taste buds feeling like they just encountered a chemical burn.  Salt and pepper, sure.  But this is what they put into this disaster of a burger. Read more…

TERK HDTVi Antenna

A few things to point out for this review.  I hooked this antenna up to my Samsung HL-T6176S - 61-inch Slim 1080p DLP Rear Projection HDTV out of frustration with my cable company (Charter Communications) and a need to still be able to watch TV.  Why?  I was tired of paying over $100 month for 6-7 channels that we watched.  I figured I could get a few channels with the ‘rabbit ears’ and not have to pay a monthly bill for a service I wasn’t happy with.  Charter’s basic cable has about 14 channels, not broadcast in HD, and it’s close to $30/month. With over 1, 000 stations in more than 200 markets broadcasting digital television, nine out of ten households can now receive free HDTV signals with the right antenna, a set-top box and a high-definition television. So I read a TON of reviews of antenna’s on the market and felt the TERK HDTVi was a solid investment. It is the only indoor HDTV antenna optimized for both UHF and VHF reception (channels 2-69).   I justified spending the $26.99 to purchase it as a one month cable bill.  I purchased it through Newegg  here. With taxes and shipping it totaled $36. 64.  About the same after taxes from Charter.

The PROS. Read more…