the matthew Z project

Well today marks the 14th day of taking the so-called fat burning pill(Acai Berry Detox). Initial thoughts…wait for it…bogus! I have taken the recommended dose of 2 pills per day for the last 14 days. I haven’t noticed a thing. No more energy than usual. No weight loss. No better sleeping. The only thing that might be noticed was the frequent trips to the bathroom. I had to pee 10 times more than normal. This could also be attributed to the recommended amounts of water they suggest.   You might as well put ground up cornmeal inside these and market those.  Ingredients? No clue.  Since these don’t have to be regulated by the food and drug administration (herbal supplement) your guess is as good as mine.  Let’s go over the process and what was encountered, shall we?

1. Ordered my free 14-day trial on July 2nd.  Paid shipping and handling of $4.95 and a $2.19 “foreign” fee for the offshore processing company.  The invoice generated at the end states 7-10 business days for delivery.
2. Received my package July 16, damn my trial period is over and I haven’t even started them.  I decide to call and cancel.  The process is horrible to contact NaturCleanse.  When your call does go through you sit on hold with terrible music for anywhere from 4-26 minutes.  I had to call 3 times due to call latency and being dropped once.  I will say the customer care reps I spoke with were very courteous and friendly.  With the usual “my computer seems to be taking a long time to bring up your order” schpeel they canceled very easily (well I thought they had).
3. I forgot to start on a Monday so I started on July 21st.  Only thing I noticed was a extremely horrible burp taste.  Almost made me vomit, but I held it down.  Took 2 pills with a large glass of water and went about my daily routines.  That was it.  Nothing of any regard has changed.  So here I am, 2 weeks later.  Not even a placebo effect.
4. Let’s go back a bit here.  Friday July 24th.  After reading a ton of complaints about numerous companies marketing Acai based anything I decide to look at my credit card statement.  I canceled within my trial period so there shouldn’t be an issue, right? Wrong.  Sure enough, they had charged me $78.13 and another foreign fee of $2.88.  I call the company line and after 5 attempts give up.  Apparently the phones were not working.  I call later in the day and speak to a very nice guy named Roy.  He says that what MUST have happened is by the time I canceled the order, it had already been set to process.  I could look for my credit within 5-7 business days. So for the most part, this just annoyed me, but no damage done.
5. What have we learned here.  This might be tough for some people to handle, but there is NO pill out there that will allow you to drop a ton of pounds quickly just by taking them.  There is no miracle pill, unless by pill you mean a healthy diet paired up with exercise.  You’d be better off drinking a glass of Campbell’s V8 in the morning.

I think it is sad we American’s are driven to buy more stuff based upon marketing rather than common sense and science.  We’ve been led to believe instantaneous is the way.  It’s not.  People get upset if they have to wait longer than 30 seconds for an elevator.  TAKE THE STAIRS.  What happened to the days where one could relax and take time to do things.  I know when I was a kid I didn’t constantly check email, watch TV,  or have to have been plugged in.  Things were slower and better back then.

If you’re going to take a pill, take a multivitamin.  Eat fruit and vegetables.  Exercise regularly.  Do this and you’ll be better off then if you just did nothing.  I’m curious to hear if anyone has actually achieved results taking the pills and changing nothing about their routines. Until anon, matthew Z