the matthew Z project

Today I list my favorite comedy quotes.  Time has tested these hilarious gut slapping movies and I honor them with a gift to the movie-quote gods by remembering them here.  Enjoy!

1. Super Troopers – “You boys like MEXICO?!” or “Who wants a mustache ride?!”
2. Fight Club – “Fu*k off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let… lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may. “
3. Office Space – “PC Load Letter”? What the fu*k does that mean?
4. Nothing to Lose – “Welcome to hell, Bi-atch! Car keys, wallet, now!”
5. Wedding Crashers – “Why don’t you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What’d you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?
   [makes sputtering motorboat noise] You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?”
6. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy - “People call me the Bry man; I’m the stylish one of the group. I know what you’re asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes – my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang.

“We went to Tijuana, Mexico, you know? And we thought it would be fun, you know, to go to a show. Everybody says you gotta check out one of these shows. And… it’s a woman fu*kin’ a horse. We get there and we think it’s gonna be awesome and… it is not as cool as it sounds like it’s gonna be. It’s kinda gross. 

I can’t leave this one out so here’s 6.1  The 40 Year Old Virgin – “I hope you have a big trunk… because I’m puttin’ my bike in it.” or “I’m starvin… let’s get some fuckin french toast!” or “That fucker came out of nowhere!” 

Wow, this was a lot tougher than I had imagined it being.  Oh well, until next week… matthew Z